Just a friendly reminder - Don’t forget to date your spouse. Seems like something that would be impossible to forget, but life has a way of making this very much possible. Perhaps you or your partner or the both of you have very hectic work schedules or maybe you just had a kid or you have a mini basketball team; whatever the case, it makes it a challenge to find time for each other as these other responsibilities can require SO much. Making time for your spouse begins to seem more like a luxury or afterthought vs. a necessity. It’s also easy to forget that if you are married, the way God designed the marriage is for your spouse to come right after Him. As parents, often times, it feels like our kids takes so much of our us that we forget this expectation. It’s crazy how someone (our kids) that we can jointly love with every fiber of our body, can be the very thing that causes our love to drift some, right? And sometimes, our kids can be the glue that holds us together, but why give them that burden? Let’s make it work because God is a the center and we prioritize our love for Him and each other.
Photo here just cause ha
One night my husband and I were out on a date at one of our fav spots, Braman Winery. Man I miss that spot. Something that I love to do is to people watch and make up stories about what I think is going on. We were intrigued by a couple who seemed enamored with each other. I said there is no way they are married and that into it. Let me explain myself really quick, I did not have many pictures of what a loving marriage should look like. This was a new concept for me, with the exception of my cousin and her husband who got married in my young adulthood. They are 20 years strong and have a beautiful relationship. For my husband, this is a different story as his parents are 40 years married and it’s a REAL thriving marriage. Also big shout out to our old pastors, who not only set an excellent example of what love is, but spent weeks and weeks with us for pre-marital counseling ensuring that we had a solid foundation built upon Biblical principals laid out before us. Okay, okay… back to the story. She was nestled under his neck, he would rest his hand on her leg, and he was looking at her with these starry eyes, you know the way one looks at a girl when it’s that new infatuated type love. Naturally (smh), I thought she was his mistress, there was no way they were married and still look at each other like that. Somehow we ended up striking up a conversation with this couple, and…to my shock… they were married, for over 20 years, lived in multiple different countries together with kids, and are just really THAT happy and THAT in love with each other.
Of course, I made my way to ask them for advice. We are 8 years in and I want THAT. I want to genuinely say that I love you more than I did the day we first wed. You know back then love was easy, it came natural, but as life takes force, love has become an action, a commitment. Honestly, the mature love is the one that carries weight, the one that is deep and wide. Her advice: Date your spouse. They literally went on a date one night a week for the entirety of their marriage, making it a priority. I know what you are thinking, but no one will watch my kids like that, that’s the boat we are in as well. They managed to make it happen even living in new countries, barely able to speak the language (they are panamanian and venezuelan…if you guys are reading this, love you guys!), but they still made it happen. This has been consistent advice we have received from couples who are happily married! That and don’t forget to have sex…another convo for another day.
After my first son, we had some minor health issues with him and were severely sleep deprived, we just did not make time for us. We got to the point where we did not know what to talk about anymore. Prior to all of this, when we were dating or engaged, we could literally talk for hours and hours and hours until one of us fell asleep on the phone. I remember going on a date on one anniversary and I had to find conversation pointers to help us facilitate a discussion. While I am happy to say, we have come a long way since then, we are still working on ensuring we are always growing the same direction and prioritizing us.
Cue the pandemic…ugh.
Date night seems impossible. There aren’t many places we felt comfortable going, nor do we feel okay allowing a stranger in our home. I vaguely recalled a friend getting a datebox and sharing thier experience on social media. This intrigued me. I decided to look into the Datebox and that’s where I found myself on the Happily Co website. And now, I am happy to report that I am an affiliate (meaning I get a small commission & do a happy dance every-time someone uses my code or link).
So what’s a datebox? They ship a box that has a well curated date night that you can enjoy in the comfort of your own home. They have literally thought of everything to set the ambience. They provide a conversation starter, a music playlist, and usually an activity plus a game or 2. Once you sign up, you will complete a short questionnaire so they learn more about the story of your relationship, it helps them come up with what datebox would be best for your relationship. You can select how many months you want, the more months, the more affordable the box.
We put our kids in bed, and usually set up on the patio, bring out our baby monitors, and have our date night in. It is a great way to connect/re-connect without the cost of a sitter or an expensive night out, and you are in the comfort of your own home. One of our conversation starters had us reminiscing on some of our fondest memories over our 10 years together and it just really is a good way to reminder of why we chose each other and continue to choose each other. These date nights are for relationships, no matter where you are - they are for married, just dating, engaged, married without kids, married with 10 kids, single and hopeful, whatever your situation.
They also have other items, like resources for achieving or maintaining a happy marriage in the form of classes, indoor camping out kits, and super cute cards.
If you are interested in checking this out, please use my link as mentioned above, I get a small commission. I have included it here and throughout the post. It is 50% off your first box or 20% your purchase of other items using my link. You can also just add code: ONTREKMOM.
As always thanks for stopping by, and I hope if you try a DateBox out, that it will bring you both as much joy as it has brought us. We love to keep things fun and adventurous over here.
XoXo