My beautiful mom has taken over my blog to share from her heart! You ready?! Well here we go…..
Twenty, twenty started with a bang…a major global health crisis that has now developed into economic challenges. We have done our best to adjust to this new “normal” and hold on to what we value most – our families. Birthdays and holidays are observed but look different than our typical celebrations. Still, we celebrate because we refuse to allow this pandemic to rob us of all that is good and meaningful individually and as a family.
“Do not fear [anything], for I am with you; Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, be assured I will help you; I will certainly take hold of you with My righteous right hand [a hand of justice, of power, of victory, of salvation].” Isaiah 41:10, AMP
As we approach Mother’s Day, we are discovering creative ways to celebrate the Mothers in our lives and pausing to thank God for allowing us to experience all that it means to be a Mother (whether through natural birth or adoption). For me, becoming a Mom was something I longed for immediately after marriage. I had no idea it would take a year and a half of prayer, fasting, and doing everything I knew to do in the natural while leaving the supernatural up to Almighty God. A couple serving in ministry laid hands on my tummy and commanded my womb to be opened and conceive. Eight months later, God did open my womb, and I conceived my first miracle daughter, Elizabeth. When Elizabeth was born, I can remember getting up in the middle of the night just to make sure she was still breathing and positioned perfectly in her crib. I read every book on parenting but quickly learned nothing fully prepares you for motherhood except to live the experience. My Mom was a godsend and a tremendous help in caring for Elizabeth. We would butt heads at times, but I always knew the advice and concern came from a place of love.
“After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace [who imparts His blessing and favor], who called you to His own eternal glory in Christ, will Himself complete, confirm, strengthen, and establish you [making you what you ought to be]. To Him be dominion (power, authority, sovereignty) forever and ever. Amen.” 1 Peter 5:10-11, AMP
Four years later, I would welcome my second miracle daughter, Ashley, followed by twins, Megan, and Mandy, eighteen months after her birth. I was not prepared for a toddler still in pampers and on the bottle, plus two newborns. My now five-year-old daughter was a big help but, I wondered if she was overwhelmed at times too. My husband willingly covered a portion of the night shift as a proud father. Mom would visit often allowing my second daughter (her namesake) to spend a week or two with her in Houston. This allowed Ashley an opportunity to enjoy some much needed one-on-one time and reduced the parental load. Don’t get me wrong, I loved each of my girls, and I was genuinely grateful to God for blessing me with each one; however, at this point, I just wanted to survive and live long enough to write about it (Ha!). The saying, “God will not put more on you than you can bear,” is not scriptural and certainly not true. The Bible does say, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). My journey of discovering how great God’s grace was had only just begun.
God, in His faithfulness, blessed me with caring neighbors, best friends who would become sisters to me as we raised our children together. Being organized (or having a touch of OCD as my girls believe), planning out my week, and desiring to be a good steward over these precious little lives kept me pushing through tiresome days and long evenings. I discovered by waking up before everyone else, spending time in God’s Word, and cultivating a prayer life helped to prepare me for a full day that did not end until I passed out each night from exhaustion (I believe many mothers can relate). Part of my prayer time consisted of anointing my girls with oil and praying over each one while they were still asleep. I knew some things were not in my control, but some were as I partnered with God to train them to love Him and become caring citizens that contributed to society. All of this proved to be an example of what it means to steward my children. They are only on loan to us for a season but belong to God for a lifetime.
My mom, me and sisters, memom, and uncle
Let me pause right here and just say, I missed the mark many times, and there were seasons when I wanted to do it all – work, serve in ministry, be the adoring wife, and perfect mother. Ha! The Lord quickly allowed me to see my limitations and I gladly had a “superwoman” cape burning ceremony in His presence. You know, one of those good old-fashioned pity parties with snot slinging, tears streaming, as you wipe the slobber from your mouth? Yes, one of those! I did not get up off my knees until I knew I had heard from God. He quieted my soul and reassured me that ministering to the needs of my husband and my children, was ministry. A burdened lifted and I felt free to just be me – glorious imperfections and all – and I knew I was loved and accepted by the Father. I also knew, where I fell short, God’s grace was enough and filled in all the missing pieces of my attempt to be a good Mom.
Silently, I packed up my dreams and goals and placed each one neatly in the Father’s arms for safe-keeping and began to focus on raising my daughters and managing my household well. I admire mothers who manage their household and hold down a full-time job or own a business. I just knew that was not my calling at the time. Like the Proverbs 31 woman, I would have an opportunity to experience various seasons of success in my life over time and would pick up those dreams and desires as God provided. Every mother is created uniquely by God’s design and must learn who they are in Christ Jesus and the path He has chosen for them to live. When we embrace our identity (strengths and limitations), we are free to blossom into the beautiful and wonderful woman God created. He knows the end from the beginning of a person’s life but also all the in-betweens. Knowing this truth, helps me to trust Him during challenging, and less than desirable situations as they arise. (Isaiah 46:10).
My life felt like a roller-coaster ride during the earlier years, and I have many battle scars to prove it. I have not embraced the hand I have been dealt always, and felt like giving up when hopelessness and depression consumed me day in and day out. When my little ole world came crumbling down - a marriage of 22 years ended, my health failed and kept getting worst with each surgery and new treatment; and no source of income, I began looking for the nearest exit, relief, help, hope, anything to remove the pain and utter brokenness I felt. One year turned into two years, then five years, then seven years as I grabbed hold of the only thing I knew that could save me – my faith and belief in the Living God and His Son, Jesus Christ. To be perfectly honest, I contemplated driving off the nearest bridge, but panic/anxiety attacks kept me from driving over them (God was with me even in the midst of my pain!). Do you want to know what kept me waking up each morning and seeking the help I desperately needed? My four girls! They taught me what unconditional love looked like (both to give and receive), and no matter how bad the situation was (days without electricity, water, and sometimes gas), they still chose me and loved me. Isn’t that just like God to use your loved ones to remind you if there is breath in your lungs, there is hope for a brighter day?! When the girls had a choice to live with me or their Dad, they told the counselor, we want to stay with Mom. No matter how bad things get, Mom has a way of making it seem alright (candles came in handy and so does a “girlzroom” circle conversation). When I did not want to live for myself, I chose to live for my girls. Plus, I needed to keep my commitment to God to make sure they fulfilled their calling and stayed on track. [Trust me, they ran down a few rabbit trails and tested the waters, but praise the Lord, He kept them and always made sure they found the path back to His loving arms. Just like each of us in our spiritual journey in seeking and following Christ.]
My journey toward healing and wholeness took a while, but I would not trade it for anything in the world. God taught me how to forgive and love those who hurt and betrayed me. He taught me how to see others through His eyes, to pray for them with a sincere heart, and to bless them instead of taking matters into my own hands. He taught me to forgive myself, and to embrace that same mercy and grace I taught my girls to extend to others when they were hurt or felt betrayed. God showed me when I thought I had lost it all, when I have Jesus, I have all I need. He taught me how to love myself when I was at my worst through His great love for me. By embracing His love for me, I learned to love others and love them well. Jesus walked with me every step of the way as He gave me a new heart, healed my body, and restored my soul. He gave me a peace and joy I had never known before and still have to this day, come what may. My heart is filled with gratitude when I look back over my journey because I know everything I went through made me a better woman, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and, most of all, child of the Most High. Every trial, tribulation, test, and challenge, changed me as God pruned, pressed, molded and shaped me into the image of Jesus Christ (the journey never ends). Jesus said, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Remember, the Father doesn’t waste any pain or hardships we experience in life as a woman, wife, and mother but works it together for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28). Because of my story of redemption, healing, and hope, I can encourage others and introduce them to this same promise. It is because of my experiences as a Mom that I am able to inspire other moms assuring them that God is in control; and encourage them to love their children through “the process” of discovering who they are in Christ Jesus and how He has called them to serve Him and serve others. God is faithful, trustworthy, and His Word is true. I believe He gave mothers a little something special because He knows they will have to be strong when it’s time to release them into His hands, and tender to keep loving them and praying for them no matter what. I smile when I think about Jesus leaving the care of His Mother to the disciple who always referred to himself as “the disciple whom Jesus loved” (John) while He hung on the cross for my sins and yours (John 19:25-27). This was such a beautiful act of love and kindness toward his earthly Mother and a powerful reminder of how much God loves mothers. Wow!
Graduated in May 2019 and currently working on her Masters degree!
My reflection would not be complete if I did not honor my Mom, who went home to be with Jesus in 2009. A day does not go by that I do not think about her and thank God for giving me the Mom He knew I needed. My Mom and I both gave our lives to Christ around the same time, and we grew up in the Lord together. She was my best friend, road buddy, prayer partner, and strong supporter (although she was a little bitty petite woman, she did not play when it came to the things of God and her family). I thought she was too tough on me at times, but I know it was because she loved me and knew there was more within me God was developing. Mind you, her granddaughters got away with more than I ever could and were “spoiled” by her (presumably, a privilege earned by grandmothers). I appreciate the time I had with Mom, learned from the lessons, and treasure the memories and all the ways she showed me how much she loved me. Priceless!
I could go on and on sharing my stories in greater detail and the testimonies the Lord has given me along the way, but I will save it for another day. My girls are all grown now with families of their own (three with two kids each, one with a fur-baby for now). It is my daily prayer, they become the best moms’ they can be and rely on God’s grace to parent their little ones and parent them well. I pray they show themselves a little mercy and grace when they fall short (and they will, we all do) but learn to ask for forgiveness and keep growing. In doing so, they teach their children what it means to be fully human and never to give up. Their journey is not mine, and their children have their own personalities geared toward the natural bent God has placed within them. Parenthood may look a bit different for them than it did for me, but one thing will never change…the need to love unconditionally, teach their children to love God and obey His Word, and to pray like never before over each of them. I see the prayers I prayed long ago become a reality in each of their lives, and I am godly proud of the women, (some are wives), daughters, and mothers they have become. They are accomplished young women with compassionate hearts, strong constitutions (we all get that from my Mom – praise God), adventurous spirits, and a desire to grow in their relationship with Christ. We have overcome much as a family, experienced significant loss, suffered tragedies, but within our story, the love of God is woven carefully between each line and on every page. We have learned that there is strength in unity, and with God, nothing shall be impossible (Mark 10:27). And when they face their motherhood challenges and ask me, “How did you do it with four of us?” my reply will always be, “Only by the grace of God!”
Happy Mother’s Day to all the amazing mothers in whatever season you may be living. I pray the Lord blesses you and showers you with His love!
Amazed by His grace!
Written with love, by mom, Yvonne S. Whittington
My 16 year old mom! One of our favorite pics of her.
As always, thank you for reading! XoXo